bedtime for freedom
2003-01-31 - 1:27 p.m.

Greetings... This is the secretary of war at the state department of the United States. We have a problem. The companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situation. Profits have been running more than a little thin lately, and we need to stimulate some growth. Now, we know that there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage private property. It doesn't look like they'll ever get a job. It's about time we did something constructive with these people- we've got thousands of them here too. They're crawling all over! The companies think it's time we all sit down, have a serious get together, and start another war. The president? Oh, he loves the idea. All those missles streaming over head to and fro, bombs, people running down the road, skin on fire. Hell, Afghanastan's no fun any more, so what do you say? We don't even have to win this war. We just wanna cut down on some of this excess population. Hell, start up a draft, draft as many of those people as you can- we'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle, and send 'em on their way. We'll just cook up a good Iraq threat story- we need that oil! Just think for a minute- we can make this war so big! The more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosper. We can git rid of practically everybody on welfare, if we plan it right. Oh, don't worry about those demonstrators- just pump up your drug supply. So many people have hooked themselves on drugs since we've took over, it'll be just like Vietnam. We had everybody so busy with L.S.D. they never got too strong. It's easy- we have our college kids so interested in beer, they don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again! We could put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, and they wouldn't even know what it looked like. So how about it- WAR IS MONEY! And the Bush's need control of that oil in Iraq. We've been planning this since before we set up the 9/11 'terrorist' attacks. It's all falling into place. We set up Afghanastan the way we want it, now we need to take out Iraq, and set it up so our oil companies can start selling it to China (through our new pipeline, we're setting up under Afghanastan). Don't worry about the few people who are on to us- people won't believe this stuff. We've always managed to make conspiracy theorists look foolish. Besides, the people in this country are so scared of our fake terrorists, we set up the 'Patriot Act' and 'Homeland Security' without anyone even batting an eyelash. Soon, we'll be able to put our own people in concentration camps just for questioning us. The world will be completely under our control. So, what do ya say? You in?